…and their frisky tea!
Homemade BBQ Sauce
When I moved out of my parents’ home and into my own apartment about 10 minutes away–it was more of a statement than anything else–I bought my first cookbook LaBelle Cuisine and attempted the buffalo wings. I forgot to tell my then lactose intolerant boyfriend Pru that it was coated in butter and Tabasco sauce and so he spent many hours realizing that fact in the bathroom. I was remorseful. My second attempt was the homemade BBQ sauce because of my love for all things sweet and fatty at the time, many years and 50 pounds ago. My love for cooking was born and I never looked back. My still lactose intolerant husband Pru happily participates as guinea pig who gives feedback and comments freely on improvements needed.
Today, I collect cookbooks more for the beautiful, colorful pictorials and the sweet smell of a newly cracked book and tactile sensation of flipping actual pages–all things missing from Googling recipes.
This awesome BBQ sauce is adapted from Miss Labelle’s version and my introduction to the wonder that is liquid smoke.
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 1/4 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
2 tablespoons yellow mustard
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 tablespoon hot red pepper sauce
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke
For the sauce: Heat the oil in a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute.
Stir in the ketchup, brown sugar, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, hot pepper sauce, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Bring to a simmer, stirring. Reduce the heat to very low and simmer, stirring often to avoid scorching, for 15 minutes. Remove the sauce from the heat and stir in the liquid smoke. Use immediately or cool completely, cover and refrigerate.
*Note: I’ve been known to use and keep a bottle in my fridge for months, though the recipe originally indicates to keep for 5 days. No one has been the wiser.
An Open Letter to Preschools
This has nothing to do with food. But I feel compelled to post this PSA now that we’ve just emerged from another school year smarter and relatively unscathed. We sent our son to preschool for the first time this year and the experience was nothing less than amazing–he is loved and cared for, learns the joy of being with other kids (he’s an only child). The process of searching for a preschool was nothing less than harrowing and stressful and suffice it to say that there were moments when I thought humanity was doomed given the state of some of the places we visited.
But I have hope.
So here’s an open letter to pre-schools everywhere before the advent of the next school year:
I am offering the following advice as an anxious parent entrusting you with my only child for the first time. I intend for this to be helpful so forgive the snarky tone but as you’ll read below, said snark is warranted.
- Clearing out your house of all the furniture and calling it Learning Adventure Academy doesn’t make it a school. You may want to update the formica counters and 70s wood laminate cabinets if you’re going to do that.
- If you call yourself the director, consider wearing something other than a tanktop that has cutouts down the front of your chest revealing cleavage. Your aide should probably lose the “It’s Official. Second sucks” No Fear tee. Neither of these outfits inspires confidence.
- Please don’t use an old and semi-deflated truck tire as a playground toy.
- Don’t ask me to donate my child’s old toys before I even enroll him in your school.
- When I ask you for advice on whether you believe that a full or part time program is best, please give me an answer that conveys your expertise as an educator or at least something more helpful than, “It’s up to you.”
- When I ask if you provide meals and snacks, I’m really hoping for an answer that doesn’t start with “The cook quit recently and we only offer vegetarian options.” Because that really translates to, ‘No, so we’re hoping your kid gets full on some celery sticks and a handful of baby carrots.”
- Sticking 24 kids in a 20×10 room and having them sit on a multi-colored rug all day spells trouble. I don’t care if you call it a “magic carpet” or “indoor play.” You don’t have a playground, those kids are stuck inside all day, you do the math.
- You might want to do the enrollment process in a private setting so that I don’t hear questions like “Will you reinforce the restraining order I have against my ex-husband at the school?” That would make any parent want to flee, including this one.
Sincerely,
A parent now considering homeschool
Mini Key Lime Pies
Nine years ago, I weighed about 50 lbs more than I do now. That’s 15 pounds less than my 5-year old. Then I lost a bunch of weight, largely propelled by lots of back handed compliments like, “You’d be pretty if you weren’t so fat.” My personal favorite was “How far along ARE you?” A question my Auntie Precy repeatedly asked me despite being well aware of the fact that I was 19 and single at the time. But whatever. By the way, my secret was not eating carbs for like 2 years. I’ve since gained about 12 pounds of it back (after 9 years, not bad!) but at least I weigh less than a baby pachyderm.
Since then, I’ve reintroduced carbs back into my diet and learned that which has eluded me nearly all of my childhood and adult life: portion control. That’s why I like to make shrink down food to cute, Lilliputian sizes.
Zest the key limes before you juice them
Squeezing key limes by hand is like seeding strawberries–invest in one of these
..and one of these…they call them tampers.
Cute, aren’t they?
*The original recipe called for 2 cans of condensed milk but I couldn’t quite bring myself to adding that second can (see intro above). So, it came out a little tart, but nothing that a little dusting of powdered sugar couldn’t fix.
Mini Key Lime Pies
Ingredients:
12 squares (1 1/3 package) of graham crackers, pulverized in your foodprocessor
3 T Sugar
3/4 stick butter (about 1/3 cup)
3 egg whites beaten
1 (14 oz) cans sweetened condensed milk
3/4 cup lime juice (about 20 limes)
1 T Lime zest
1/2 c sour cream
Instructions:
- Press 1 tablespoon graham cracker mixture into the bottom of a cupcake liner, pressed down
- Bake at 350 degrees for 7 minutes then set aside
- Mix together egg whites, condensed milk, lime juice, lime zest, and sour cream
- Use ice cream scoop to evenly fill lined muffin tins 3/4 way full
- Bake for 12-15 minutes and cool.
- Keep overnight in the fridge if you prefer to set fully
Garlic Noodles, a la Crustracean
So this doesn’t look like much.
But I guarantee you that it’s the simplest thing you’ll make and probably one of the more delicious meals you’ll cook up in your dinner in 15-minutes or less repertoire.
I sampled my first garlic noodles at PPQ Dungeness Island and I was wowed by the perfect combination of sweet and savory and I could swear there was probably some crab fat embedded in there, it tasted so rich and creamy. It was served alongside roasted garlic crab and both were so good, my eyes rolled back momentarily in my head. A family sized serving will run about 7-8$. Think I made mine for $2 since I had all the ingredients on hand, except for the fresh noodles.
Incidentally, my preferred brand is Golden World as they most closely approximate the ones I’ve had at PPQ.
You’ll have to reach into your inner Asian or go to the nearest Ranch 99 to procure some fish sauce, oyster sauce and Maggi seasoning. Or most well stocked Safeways and Albertson’s carry them in their ethnic aisle. Look away from the jarred pig ears.
And that thing that didn’t start out as much, turns into:
Roasted Garlic and Crab Noodles
Furikake Salmon and Garlic Noodles
- 1 lb bag of Gold World noodles
- 3/4 stick of butter’
- 6 cloves of minced garlic (or more if you prefer a more intense garlicky taste)
- 4-5 tablespoons of butter
- 1 tablespoons of garlic power
- 1 tablespoon of Maggi seasoning
- 1 tablespoon of oyster sauce
- Parmesan or Pecorino Romano grated
Boil noodles according to directions. Saute garlic in butter, careful not to burn, for about 5 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients so flavors meld, for about 10 minutes on low heat. Toss garlic butter mixture in hot noodles and serve immediately.
5$ creme brulee sparks outrage and this blog
I love food trucks. I love me some good food. But I’m over paying $9 for a burrito and $5 for a creme brulee served in a cup the size of a muffin. I’m done. I know. I know. Said creme brulee would go for twice that in a restaurant. But guess what? Calling it Off the Grid and making me eat my food while sitting in a parking lot of Scareamonte mall on hard plastic chairs that stagger at the weight of my considerable arse in the cold summer that is Daly City–I’m thinking $5 is a tad overpriced.
Enter: keepingiteel.com, a blog dedicated to recreating recipes one food truck at a time! Or maybe one casual dining recipe at a time. Or maybe I’m just jealous of all the food pics my Asian peeps post and I will google the menu and break down each of the elements of that recipe and figure it out here.
Meanwhile, enjoy a preview of the Vietnamese Eggroll…
Ubewankenobi 